Sexuality Education and...Ticks?
It's late summer where I am in the Northern Hemisphere, and more precisely, in the stretch of mountains and valleys that I call home, it's still tick season. Ticks attach themselves to people in warm, moist, dark places, and I'm glad to say that with both my older boys having Our Whole Lives (O.W.L.) Sexuality Education in the background--even at ages 6 and 9--they can communicate the very delicate location of the ticks without awkwardness or self-consciousness so we can get right to addressing the problem!
Which brings me to the main topic: sexuality education.
I'll readily admit my bias, but I think Unitarian Universalists lead the nation in doing sexuality education well. Before I was a UU, I was a classroom teacher. And my parents and students approached me asking for sexuality education to be added to the curriculum. I spent that summer researching programs, and knew immediately when I had the right one in my hands. OWL blew me away with its focus on self-worth, inclusivity, responsibility, and whole-person development (in addition to the expected topics of health, conception, and abuse prevention). No fear. No shame. No coded language or squeamishness. No narrow views that excluded some people from being recognized as sexual beings. Excellent information. Excellent exercises in discerning values. Practice being assertive, respectful, and inclusive. And trained, vetted adults who are open to researching and answering questions that some children may feel they cannot ask their parents directly.
I had been going to a UU church on Thursday nights for two years for a knitting group, and had made great friends (as well as some darn cute socks and hats), but it wasn't until I realized that the UU's were the co-publishers, along with the UCC's, of OWL that I knew I had to get to know them better.
I would travel far and pay good money for my kids to be able to attend OWL classes, but if neither of those is an option for you and your homeschoolers, you still have options.
You can buy the curriculum online from the UUA Bookstore for $40-$75. You could use this as an inspiration for your own homeschool lessons or conversations. This is one way that we, as parent educators, can get some support in being comprehensive in our approach to sexuality education; there are whole chapters in those curricula that I never would have thought to bring up, and it's presented really, really well. The "Spirituality and Our Faith" supplemental books are good for a group, but I don't know that you'd find enough to work with for one or two children. You can skip the Parent Guides since you'd have the full curriculum in hand.
But, if you do the above, you lose the richness and support that flourishes in the OWL classroom of age-peers. So if it's a possibility for you, consider finding a buddy, preferably of a different gender from you, and both of you getting trained as OWL facilitators; trainings run about $250 per person, plus the curriculum itself. Once you get certified, you could organize and hold classes for other homeschoolers, or other interested families, and charge for the class to make up some of your investment; many churches charge between $50 and $150 per child. You'd also have the resource of being part of the OWL listserv discussions, which are active and invaluable in staying current with issues as well as offering creative adaptations and supplements to what's in the books.
If you're not sure about covering the material in a class format, and you have younger children, you might want to purchase Robie Harris' books "It's NOT the Stork!" and "It's Perfectly Normal," which are the at-home reading for OWL K-1 and OWL 4-6. I read those at bedtime to both my boys just before turning the lights out. It was one of those side-by-side moments where I knew they were attentive, and there was really good stuff being said, but there wasn't the pressure of eye contact or an expectation of conversation afterward.
I think OWL may be the most important ministry of Unitarian Universalism. I'm a huge advocate of this life-saving, life-affirming program. And, I have seen its good effects on exactly 59 children whom I've guided directly, plus several more confident and compassionate young adults who have told me they went through the program. It has improved our homeschooling and family life on many levels, including helping inspire me to do my own healing and re-education in this area that I did not get as a child or youth.
Check out the websites listed above. Do some thinking about the material. Do some talking with partners and friends, and your minister and religious educator, if you have them. Do some talking with your kids! Find out where they are in their knowledge of sexuality and where you can be helpful starting today. A child being able to tell you that a tick has attached to his scrotum or foreskin may not seem life-saving, but children who know their bodies, and know they can talk to trusted adults about their bodies--even and especially their "privates"--are less vulnerable to sexual abuse and are on a path to conceptualizing their sexuality as positive and life-affirming. It's simple, but it's that important.
Which brings me to the main topic: sexuality education.
I'll readily admit my bias, but I think Unitarian Universalists lead the nation in doing sexuality education well. Before I was a UU, I was a classroom teacher. And my parents and students approached me asking for sexuality education to be added to the curriculum. I spent that summer researching programs, and knew immediately when I had the right one in my hands. OWL blew me away with its focus on self-worth, inclusivity, responsibility, and whole-person development (in addition to the expected topics of health, conception, and abuse prevention). No fear. No shame. No coded language or squeamishness. No narrow views that excluded some people from being recognized as sexual beings. Excellent information. Excellent exercises in discerning values. Practice being assertive, respectful, and inclusive. And trained, vetted adults who are open to researching and answering questions that some children may feel they cannot ask their parents directly.
I had been going to a UU church on Thursday nights for two years for a knitting group, and had made great friends (as well as some darn cute socks and hats), but it wasn't until I realized that the UU's were the co-publishers, along with the UCC's, of OWL that I knew I had to get to know them better.
I would travel far and pay good money for my kids to be able to attend OWL classes, but if neither of those is an option for you and your homeschoolers, you still have options.
You can buy the curriculum online from the UUA Bookstore for $40-$75. You could use this as an inspiration for your own homeschool lessons or conversations. This is one way that we, as parent educators, can get some support in being comprehensive in our approach to sexuality education; there are whole chapters in those curricula that I never would have thought to bring up, and it's presented really, really well. The "Spirituality and Our Faith" supplemental books are good for a group, but I don't know that you'd find enough to work with for one or two children. You can skip the Parent Guides since you'd have the full curriculum in hand.
But, if you do the above, you lose the richness and support that flourishes in the OWL classroom of age-peers. So if it's a possibility for you, consider finding a buddy, preferably of a different gender from you, and both of you getting trained as OWL facilitators; trainings run about $250 per person, plus the curriculum itself. Once you get certified, you could organize and hold classes for other homeschoolers, or other interested families, and charge for the class to make up some of your investment; many churches charge between $50 and $150 per child. You'd also have the resource of being part of the OWL listserv discussions, which are active and invaluable in staying current with issues as well as offering creative adaptations and supplements to what's in the books.
If you're not sure about covering the material in a class format, and you have younger children, you might want to purchase Robie Harris' books "It's NOT the Stork!" and "It's Perfectly Normal," which are the at-home reading for OWL K-1 and OWL 4-6. I read those at bedtime to both my boys just before turning the lights out. It was one of those side-by-side moments where I knew they were attentive, and there was really good stuff being said, but there wasn't the pressure of eye contact or an expectation of conversation afterward.
I think OWL may be the most important ministry of Unitarian Universalism. I'm a huge advocate of this life-saving, life-affirming program. And, I have seen its good effects on exactly 59 children whom I've guided directly, plus several more confident and compassionate young adults who have told me they went through the program. It has improved our homeschooling and family life on many levels, including helping inspire me to do my own healing and re-education in this area that I did not get as a child or youth.
Check out the websites listed above. Do some thinking about the material. Do some talking with partners and friends, and your minister and religious educator, if you have them. Do some talking with your kids! Find out where they are in their knowledge of sexuality and where you can be helpful starting today. A child being able to tell you that a tick has attached to his scrotum or foreskin may not seem life-saving, but children who know their bodies, and know they can talk to trusted adults about their bodies--even and especially their "privates"--are less vulnerable to sexual abuse and are on a path to conceptualizing their sexuality as positive and life-affirming. It's simple, but it's that important.
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